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Q: What is the ideal cockpit crew?
A: A pilot and a dog...the pilot is there to feed the dog, and
the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.
Q: How many pilots does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
Q: How do you know if a pilot is at your party?
A: He'll tell you.
Q: How do you know when you are half way through
a date with a pilot?
A: Because he says: "Thats enough about flying, let's talk
about me"!
Q: What's the purpose of the propeller?
A: To keep the pilot cool. If you don't think so, just stop it
and watch him sweat!
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits
from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner
arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation,
Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer.
Santa got his log book out and made sure all his paperwork was
in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly
put Santa's flying skills to the test. The examiner walked slowly
around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing
gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's
weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally,
they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened
his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then
the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously. The
examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this
ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear,
"but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
A blond gets on a plane and goes up to first-class.
The flight attendant tells her that she will have to move back;
her ticket is not for first class. The blond says, "I'm blond,
I'm beautiful, and I'm going to California." The main flight
attendant is brought in and explains that she will have to move.
The blond says, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going
to California."
The attendants tell the pilot. He comes in and looks
the situation over. He leans over and whispers something to the
blond and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class.
The attendants are flabbergasted, "What did you say to her?"
"I just told her that this section of the plane doesn't go
to California." |
