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Q: What kind of person steals soap?
A: A dirty crook
A man is driving on the highway when his wife calls
him on his cell phone. "Honey, be carful. I heard on the
news that there is a car on the road driving the wrong way."
To this the man replies, "One? Theres millions of 'em!"
There are 4 guys in a car, 1 from Iowa,1 from Wisconsin,
1 from Florida, and 1 from Illinois. The guy from Florida says
"I'm tired of seeing oranges everyday" so he throws
some oranges out the window. So then the guy from Iowa says "I'm
tired of seeing Corn everyday" so he throws some corn out
the window. The guy from Wisconsin is very inspired so he opens
the door and pushs the guy from Illinois out of the car!
You are in a steel room with no windows, doors or
openings. All you have is a matchbook...how do you get out?
Answer: Strike One! Strike Two! Strike Three...Your Out!
An alien came to earth, step down from his space ship and said:
"I come in peace". Then he gets out his gun and start
shooting at everyone. One of the guys who is running away shouts
to his friend: " I thought he said he comes in peace!".
The alien says: "You miss-understood me, peace is the name
of my space ship"
There was once a little boy who got very good grades, straight
A's on every subject on every report card. His name was Billy.
His father was very proud of him, and decided to give him one
thing every year, whatever he wanted. The little boy, for one
odd reason or another, chose a pink golf ball, each and every
year. So finally, when the boy was sixteen, the dad got fed up
with it and bought him a car. The son was fine with this, and
took it on a joyride down to his favorite restaurant. He didn't
want to drivethrough and he couldn't find a parking spot, but
finally he found a spot on the other side of the street. He walked
across happily, and halfway across, was hit by a truck. On his
deathbed, the wounds were fatal, he was asked by his father: "What
did you do with the pink golf balls?" The son replied: "Well
I ---" With that he died.
The moral is that you should look both ways before crossing the
street.
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