| Dry Cleaning Monica's Dress |
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store and tells
the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"
"No," says Monica. "Mustard."
While the Clintons were still in the Governor's
Mansion in Arkansas, one night Chelsea came in to the bedroom
and said, "Mommy, tell me a story please!" Hillary said,
"It's 3:00 am, honey, can't you just go to bed?" Chelsea
answered, "I tried, Mommy, but I can't sleep... please tell
me a story." Hillary thought for a moment and said, "OK,
honey, I'll tell you what... You just jump up here in bed with
me, and when your daddy finally gets home, we'll BOTH get to hear
a story!"
| Monica Lewinsky Buys Condoms |
Monica went up to the pharmacist and stated, "I
need to buy condoms." The pharmacist looked up and asked,
"Shall I put it on your bill?" "No, thanks,"
Monica responded. "I prefer to put them on him myself."
| Gore's and Hillary's Revenge |
Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn
in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House
lawn, he sees "The President Must Go" written in urine
across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty ticked off. He storms
into his security staff`s HQ, and yells "Somebody wrote a
threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in
urine! Son-of-a-bitch had to be standing right on the porch when
he did it! Where were you guys?!" The security guys stay
silent and stare ashamedly at the floor. Bill hollers "Well
dammit, don`t just sit there! Get out and FIND OUT WHO DID IT!
I want an answer, and I want it TONIGHT!" The entire staff
immediately jumps up and races for the exits. Later that evening,
his chief security officer approaches him and says "Well
Mr. President, we have some bad news and we have some really bad
news. Which do you want first?" Clinton says "Oh hell,
give me the bad news first." The officer says "Well,
we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just
came back, and it was Al Gore`s urine." Clinton says "Oh
my god, I feel so... so... betrayed! My own Vice President! Damn....Well,
what`s the really bad news?" The officer replies "Well
sir, it`s Hillary`s handwriting."
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