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A dietician was once addressing a large audience
in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough
to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is
awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the
germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the
most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here
tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the
first row, please give us your idea."
The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food
restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will
be accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe
me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
| An Error Publishing An Article |
Canada's Ottawa Citizen newspaper recently printed
a recipe for Chanterelle Lemon Pasta in its food section, calling
for one cup of Chanterelle mushrooms. They even provided a helpful
photograph so amateur mushroom hounds could find their own growing
in the wild. Unfortunately, the photograph instead showed Destroying
Angels, which are deadly when eaten.
A Mexican family crosses over the border to the
Land of Milk and Honey where the streets are paved with gold.
But the husband can find no work.
His family is hungry, so he takes a walk to a quiet place at the
foot of a big hill, kneels at the base of a tree, and begins to
pray: "Sweet Jesus, please show me a way to feed my family..."
Eyes closed, the Mexican does not see the BLACK man coming over
the top of the hill, who is stumbling wildly with a broken grocery
sack. When the Mexican man opens his eyes, a large wheel of cheddar
cheese rolls down the hill an lands at his feet!
"Oh, thank you Jesus, thank you!" he cries, grabs the
cheese, and runs straight home. Upon returning home, he gives
the cheese to his wife and instructs her to make nachos.
"But wouldn't you rather have cheese enchiladas and burritos
and other things?" she inquires. "No," the husband
says, "Jesus sent this to me with a message... As I ran home,
I kept hearing Him yell, ' THAT'S NACHO CHEESE! THAT'S NACHO CHEESE!'
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