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A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on
the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful
doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.
As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew
out of the window and landed at the girl's feet. "What's
this, "she asked. "Taste it," he replied, "If
you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"
One day, Gramma sent her grandson Peter down to
the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was
dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen.
"Now, where's my bucket and my water?" Gramma asked
him."I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma"
criedPeter. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"Now
don't you mind that ol' alligator, Peter. He's been there for
a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably
as scared of you as you are of him!""Well, Gramma,"
replied Peter, "If he's as scared of me as I am of him, then
that water ain't fit to drink!"
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very
lavish New York City building when a young, beautiful woman gets
into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to
the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph
Lauren, $150 an ounce!" Then another young and beautiful
woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to
the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination
and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks
both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and
says, "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound.
A man decides to visit a whorehouse. He is sitting
in the waiting room when he notices jars of tomatoes on the shelves.
Suddenly noticing that he is hungry, he opens a jar and precedes
to devour an entire jar. The next day he returns and eats another
jar while waiting for his prostitute. On the third day he asks
a hooker where they got those juicy tomatoes. The whore replies,
"Tomatoes? Those are last weeks abortions."
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