|
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering
from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme
virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution,
and guilt for not forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters
sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them
on, then that poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on
her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak
show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are
you? "Ooooh, looky-here! If I scroll down this page and make
a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!".
What a bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people
out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid
chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will
come into my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing
the chain which was started by the Romans in 5 A.D. and was brought
to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it
makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.
If you're going to forward something, at least send me something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being"
forwards about 90 times. I don't care. Show a little intelligence
and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending
out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening
to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete
it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making
them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's
been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only savior is
the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail,
otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
A stoner walks into a 7-11 and asks the clerk "got
any weed?" the clerk responds "Hell no you damn stoner".
The next day the stoner returns he asks the clerk "got any
weed" the clerk outraged smashes the stoners head on the
counter and says, "Look you stoner if you come in here and
ask if I got weed one more time I will nail your feet to the floor"
So.. the next the day the stoner walks in and asks the clerk "got
any nails" the clerk says no... so the stoner asks, "got
any weed"?
|
