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A woman was driving her old beat up car on the Highway
with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but
they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group
of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to
see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down,
she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon
left her behind. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of
a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come
up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why
I pulled you over?" Her son piped up from the back seat,
"I do... because you couldn't catch the other cars!"
I went to the store the other day, I was only in
there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a damn
motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and
said, 'Come on buddy, howabout giving a guy a break?' He ignored
me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil
necked nazi. He glared at meand started writing another ticket
for having bald tires!! So I called him a horse shit. He finished
the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he
startedwriting a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes,
the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't give
a damn. My car was parked around the corner...
A man knocked on a door an a women answered and
he asked if he could use her toilet. She said you have 3 chances,
if you do 3 things wrong I`ll call the police. So he went to piss
but on the flush chain there was a bra so he ripped it off. Then
when he was walking down the stairs he saw her cat called Boobs
on the step & he hates cats so he squezed it & then threw
it up the stairs. He then went in the kitchen where the women
was & the women said why did you throw my cat up the stairs?
He said I don`t know. While she went to get it, on the table was
a glass of milk which he then drank. When the women came back
she said you had your 3 chances now I'm calling the Police. When
the police came they asked her what the man had done. She said
this man has ripped her bra off, squezed her Boobs and drank her
milk.
When Johnny got arrested, they told him, "Anything
you say will be held against you." Johnny said, "Claudia
Schiffer's breasts."
During a traffic stop a police officer is swatting
at a fly that is circling around his head, and blurts out what
kind of damn fly is that anyhow. The traffic offender replies,
"that's a circle fly". The officer replies that he's
never heard of a "circle fly". The offender replies
circle flies are usually found circling around a horses ass. Enraged,
the police officer says, "are you calling me a horses ass?",
to which the traffic offender replied, "no sir, but you can't
fool a circle fly.
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